Thursday, December 17, 2009

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls for he has no one to help him up."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 New King James Version

Matt and I were talking about friendship. He said, "you would probably be surprised at how many people don't really know how to be a friend." and that really mede me think. Think and we continued to talk about it.

Friendship is so interesting.
Everyone wants, craves and desires it... and yet how many people do you suppose really, really know how to be a true friend? Not just the friend that's fun for a time, not just the people that always have people over to their house. A REAL, TRUE friend. Knows how to give and take. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever felt warn out and like "why am I doing all the work here!?"

From the time I was very little I remember my mom telling me how very important it was to know how to be a true friend where it's a give and take relationship, not just one sided. I have always remembered what she told me about her experiences in friendships that were one sided and how they never work. You have to be willing to give and take. I have always tried very hard to live that out. Not always doing the best job of it I'm sure, but trying.

For a long time I knew this, but it was hard to always act on it. By "act on it" I mean to just give those people up in my life that weren't good friends. I wanted that friendship bad enough that I didn't mind that I was the only one giving and that that person wasn't actually going to help make me a better person and be there through thick and thin.

Then I met my future husband. He was a very true, giving, wonderful friend who fast became my best friend for quite a few months. Then I knew I wanted him in my life forever:) This was a man that called me, I didn't always have to call him. (I know, I know, he did like me cause I was a girl too) He went out of his way to show me he cared about my day to day life, my work, my family, who I was. He would show up on my door and surprise me, driving THREE hours each way to do so. And really before all of that we had great, long talks that made both of us think and made us each strive to be a better person. He was one of my first true friends in every sense of the word.

After that I think I started to really see my friendships in a new light. "is this working, is this giving and taking?" And when life got busier and busier I realized I didn't have time to wait and see if it would change or work.

I have been blessed to find a few really good, true friends in the last few years. These people have taught me a lot and made me think and want to be a better person, to grow in the LORD together.

I feel like it's sad for some woman who don't really know how to be a good friend because when a healthy friendship is present it's such a huge and amazing blessing! I am so glad that my mother taught me what I needed to know as a young girl and for a wonderful husband that came along and signed up to be my best friend for the rest of my life:)

What are your thoughts? Have you learned this lesson the hard way, or did someone teach you?


A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Prov 18:24 New King James Version




4 comments:

Outside the Line said...

What a lovely post. And what a great life lesson Barb gave you. She does know how to be a friend. And I have known her as my friend for almost 40 years and I have been blessed. I think your health and your friends are the 2 most important things in life.

Rae

Barb said...

That was a lovely post! It is such a blessing to have friends of many years who I don't see very often, but we can pick up right where we left off. When you kids were little there was less time for friends and I remember talking with them about all the time we'd have when the kids grew up. Then they all went and got jobs!!! And daughters can be great friends too! Love you!

Jody Blue said...

Your Mammy has taught me so much about friendship. I treasure the wisdom she has shared.

Tami said...

In the military friendships grow quickly, we don't have a lot of time to "wait and see." Also, when we are so far from home, with our spouses gone a considerable amount of time, our friends become our family. When I was younger I found myself in more of those relationships you spoke of that were not "true" friendships. As I age, I find that I'm learning to be a better judge of character. Not that I'm not kind, or give people a chance. Rather, with the homeschooling schedule I don't have a lot of time for friendships outside of my family. Therefore, I try hard to make those relationships count.
As I am writing this, I'm wondering also that maybe not only am I better at weeding out the "fake" friends, but as I grow in my walk with the Lord I may be a better friend than I was before. Hmmm. . .this is some food for thought.